感谢易师父的评注，确实为我近来灰色的心情洒下了亮点。

近几周不是胃痛就是肩膀痛，神情不专注。不是我不想专注，感觉被什么东西干扰到。

还犹豫一时疏忽，犯下了个不小的错误，同时也为此复出了时间和金钱的代价。

一觉睡起来，比没睡还要累；早晨起来赶着吃早饭，然后赶VIVA，冲出VIVA再赶SUBWAY

不知道主人去哪里忙呢？分身，分神害的我应付不来。难道真是因为 month of ghost的影响？

持咒百毒不侵。掉举懒散应该结束了。

‘心无挂碍，无挂碍故无有恐怖，远离.........’

Still Alice is a compelling debut novel about a 50-year-old woman''s sudden descent into early onset Alzheimer''s disease, written by first-time author Lisa Genova, who holds a Ph. D in neuroscience from Harvard University.

Alice Howland, happily married with three grown children and a house on the Cape, is a celebrated Harvard professor at the height of her career when she notices a forgetfulness creeping into her life. As confusion starts to cloud her thinking and her memory begins to fail her, she receives a devastating diagnosis: early onset Alzheimer''s disease. Fiercely independent, Alice struggles to maintain her lifestyle and live in the moment, even as her sense of self is being stripped away.

直到这个周日-完成了阅读这本书，阴霾仍然未挥之而去。一个不久前还闪烁辉煌着的奋斗旅程，眼见逐渐被火山熔岩吞噬消融，任何人却没有能力去阻挡，控制。

一个物理性活着的不认识自己的我，那具躯壳里面的主人去了哪里? 有句俗话“好死不如赖活”，我也曾眼见在生死边界挣扎的灵性。我本来想写下，这样活着还有什么意思？但是我没有权利去评判他人的求生意识，生命是平等的。

好像我们真的只能被动接受，那个主人为什么那么无能?

龙卷风过后的周末城市显得格外的安静和干净。今天早上太阳时而隐约时而稍露个脸，早饭后出去走了一圈。没有防晒霜的遮盖，皮肤不油不腻，好舒服地自由呼吸。

下午做了一套瑜伽操后开始烤点心。 外面开始下雨了， 不是昨天的电闪雷鸣。下吧， 反正没有出去的打算。耳朵听着CARRIE 和她的女朋友在谈论彼此单身生活遇到挑战的烦恼，手上不停地在打蛋白， 脑子在想着有什么新的方子夹在今天的点心里面。我的烘焙从来没有一定的方子， 也没有严格的比例。所以JASON的形容很确切，产品质量不稳定。

 

今天的产品是  spicy carrot muffin and creamy corn cake. 我的脑子搜刮了家里可以的材料， 从粉类到香料，从各种的cheese 到糖类。两种产品分别用了不同的主料和辅料。主角和以前类似， 但是口味不同。

 

结果一半一半，做了9年的muffin的“高手”，今天竟然没有把产品烤熟就出炉了。郁闷死我啊~~~ 问题到底出在哪里？ 我还是没相通， 就贴了去问更高手吧。

今天的CORN CAKE 是烘烤的， 以前是用微波炉做的。今天口味可以说很成功，因为原料上比以往FANCY 很多。但是从节能和效率上总结我下次仍然会用微波炉。

 

泡壶普洱茶，加几片无花果享受一下烘焙的乐趣。

The bitter memory would never be gone but it is naturally there although we try not to touch it.

Life is one-way ride and it is always not stable as we can control.

No one could tell what it would be until the last foot step. Just keep going.

Kate is able to keep alive with carrying Anna’s organ. Is it the way she likes to be? Certainly not!

But Anna surely would not regret to give her last part or all parts to keep Kate alive.

Morals are more important than Ethics and Love is more powerful than Law.

 

喝酒容易脸红有时候并不是一件坏事。第一轮的分组游戏我们队就开始输， 所有的队员就被罚酒。我第一杯下去后就差不多了天旋地转了，40°C 的WHISKY 其实也不是很辣，起码我感觉没泸州老窖冲， 但是下肚不到10分钟我的脸据说和我的外套一样红。不过此后我就只拍手为被罚酒的队友助威。

不知道那些同事为什么都喜欢在水里泡着，我大部分时间除了吃就是和STACEY, JESSIE 聊着天，并不是所有的亚裔都那么安静，瞧闫小姐---一个贪玩的主角，上车后就呼呼大睡。

照片里的房子是MICHALE的玩具箱， 是我至今见到过的最昂贵的车展---23辆世界 classic car collection. 因为版权问题， 我也不想惹上任何法律纠纷，抱歉没有照片分享了。

我因为酒量最差而赢得了当天最多的酒，4小瓶 CLASSIC BAILEY， 考虑开始练酒量了。

因为天气太好，大家享受了太多的日光浴， 第二天大多数爱玩水的同事们都抱怨脸上开始脱皮。我虽然没下水， 但是手臂没有衣服遮盖的部位也好似烤熟的虾子。

因为大家吃的开心，玩的尽兴，周二我们开始付昂贵的费用。

中国比多伦多早12个小时， 昨晚就乖乖打了电话回去问候妈妈。现在我能做的就是口头上的关心和精神上的支持，连花都没法送。希望明年的母亲节可以在一起庆祝。无绳电话打到没电，换了座机继续聊， 最后还是妈妈先投降说因为下午约了朋友去水榭一游，才不得收线。那没讲完的话就留着下周在继续吧。

 

从台湾回来以后，心情愉悦了许多，好像原来的束缚慢慢放开了，同时心里又融入了些充实感。嗯~~~~~~那种微妙，细腻的感触可能只有自己体味的到， 说出来味道就不对了。‘路漫漫其修远兮 吾将上下而求索’。心境不被外尘染，念头不受外境转。

今天中午和 uncle 一家还有他的爸妈去吃日本餐。提前去了LONGOS 选花， 店家看准了消费热点竟然提高价格，但是还是很多人在那边挑选。本来挑了不一样的两束分别给奶奶和auntie，结果那个漂亮的肥姐用包装纸将花裹严实了， 啥都分不清了。白费了我一番苦心。

 

我算是个念旧的人吧，总是在想去年的今天我做过些什么。记得去年我回加拿大的第二天就是母亲节，妈妈，我还有lucy姐和jason一起在杨明山庄喝茶。嗨，日子过的好快。 再退后一年2007年，........好像已经模糊了，人老记忆力也差了； 明年的今天呢？ 到时候看呗！

Year of OX is coming, and it is said it will be much better than last year, since the attributes of the heaven and earth are not against each other.

For me, OX is not against Rooster, therefore I should be fine during the new year. But who knows, I have already felt there would be something happen on me, maybe car accident if I am not careful.

 

Yesterday it was last time Justin and I saw each other for year of 2009. He is on flight this morning, and will not back at least until end of the year. Or probably when he return from China he will move to the States. He plays as a strange role in my life, why? Only Heaven/God can give me a reason why we knew each other, and how the friendship last, and continue to last. I call him as my friend, coz it is not easy for me to make friends. I may be picky, but it is not my fault!!! I like to hear his voice, very light when he talks to me on the phone, sometime likes a girl’s voice. Most time he smiles to me, however, he is very serious and annoying too. He is considerate to me, and even to my parents. God knows why my Mom allow him to stay overnight in my home, it was really surprised me!!!

 

Okay I wish everything goes well through his way home, and have a wonderful time with his Mom in China. And I will definitely be missing him, although I know he will not miss me.

2008终于过去了，2009就这样平静的开始了。

老板会上说1月和2月会很忙，很多的POLICIES 会在这两个月RELEASE出来，并且这个TEAM 要准备对付AUDITOR,所以各方面做好周末加班的准备。

我准备自己带午饭或者去吃SALAD, 而躲开让我厌恶的PIZZA。

 

昨天去和朋友吃饭，大家都是曾经在一起工作过的，但认识有先后并不算太熟悉。美食宝宝VENICE定了一家名为ALLUSION的意大利餐厅。

餐厅不大装修有点简单，灯光过于柔和使得看不到坐在对面同事脸上的痘痘。客人不多，不像别的意大利餐厅那样闹腾。从餐前的STARTER 到最后的甜点都挺有特色，但是不是对我而言，因为整个MAIN COURSE 只有一个我能吃-CREAM TOMATO PASTA 加上几根洋葱和胡萝卜。餐前点的特别处是SPREAD： 磨碎的黑橄榄加上一点点橄榄油，有橄榄的原味来展开客人的食欲。前餐是两道不同的SALAD和CHEESE，其实做法很简单，DRESSING 超市也能买的到。另外有点以外的是他们竟然点了鹅肝作为前餐。鹅肝是先烤在烩的，所以汁很厚重。配菜中除了不可少的红洋葱外还有PLUM，我叉了片PLUM，它的酸可以平衡整道菜的油腻。还有两片POTATO BREAD，RALPH 和JOANNE 一人拿了一片开始打扫盘中的酱汁

VENICE 选了BUTTER CHICKEN，奇怪她怎么会选这样普通的才；RALPH叫了MIXED SEAFOOD; JOANNE 选了BABY COW。从配菜到主食每人都不相通，厨师还真有一手。VENICE 的主食是BAKED BROWN RICE，RALPH 的是丝状的LINGUINI，JOANNE 的是RAZO, 我的嘛就是一般的LINGUINI。甜点是味道浓而不甜的ICE CREAM， 可以让JOANNE 飞起来的BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE， 和一盘我觉得不道地的CHEESE PLATTE。

 

决定下次不去这样的饭局了，虽然我吃素， 但是同桌吃的那些飞禽走兽还是让我非常不舒服。我宁愿继续作宅女。

Soooooo embrarrased this morning!

Receiving Xmas present from co-woker without  preparing anything!!!!

Another week just passed. Time is flying close to the Christmas again.

It is already white winter, the boxing sales is already on while people are thinking to cut their shopping budget.

Friends are preparing for the vacation to the states, coworkers are talking about exciting trips on cruise or back to the home country.

I am looking forward to visiting my Mom after this non-awesome season, and things will start over again when I come back. Life is a turning-moving circle.

 

I was touched by something happened on Saturday night. The last customer a lady was still sitting at the table after 11:05pm, Andrew had to let her go, because he only can start his cashing after all the doors are locked. She stated she was waiting for the rider who was not here yet. It was freezing and raining outside. Andrew took a chair and let her sit between the two doors waiting for her ride with inside door locked. “How nice you are” I commented, “oh, it is nothing, I was taught to treat people nice by my family, if something happened to her, I would feel so guilty.”

It is all about rules again, and it is depending on how people apply it and how to adjust it according to the situation. The outcome would not be same by different people using it.

 

I need to post it!  

I am being terrified by nightmare last night, and the feeling is still with me for the whole day.

I was crying badly in the dream, but the teas could not come out from my eyes? Am I dried?

When I woke up from the dream, actually I was woken by the alarm, my face was covered by tears.

 

I put dry cereal into my mouth without feeling of breakfast or what. I am thinking to give my Mom’s call just to make sure she is okay, or to hear her voice.

I cannot believe it was dark when I arrived at the office, but it is a good time to make the phone call.  Fine, she is okay.

 

What a day today! Life is sucks AGAIN!!!

 

Thanks’ giving is coming AGAIN! I prefer Vivian to schedule me on the holiday, coz the holiday supposes to be family time, however, it reminds me that I have no family member to hang on with. Bad~~~~, I am not sure where I will be. I purchased a pepper squash a week ago to celebrate the holiday. Pepper squash belongs to pumpkin family, but it is green peel with deep segment shape. I don’t know how to make pumpkin pie, and I do not eat turkey, so~~~~ I am planning to make pumpkin congee with cashew.

 

Actually the congee is not today's topic, what I really want to record is that I attain my SB certification.

 

I have never used French press before, and today's first test is to do coffee taste with French press. It is said the French press is the best tool to save coffee flavor for the home user. Measure 0.12 lb coffee bean, I chose the Sulawesi bean, ground, and then brew. The pairing pastry I chose is Apple bran muffin. The apple and berry goes well with the earthy and nutty bean. For the second coffee tasting I chose the Italian Roast, which is darker than espresso bean. Italian Roast is the second darkest coffee, because the acidity is vanished through the long roasting time, it is very smoky, sturdy, and sweet. Sweeter than Sulawesi. The pairing food I pick is double chocolate cookie, hahaha, coco food should be very good for smoky and rich coffee.

 

The other sample I served, why do I have so many samples tasting today? are hazelnut signature hot chocolate and Sea salt caramel signature HC! Why ppl like crazy sweet beverage, it comes with toffee syrup, chocolate base, and plus the caramel topping which highlights the risk of diabetes.

 

The 2 hot beverages to make are--can be predicted -- latte and cappuccino. I guess they are the most basic beverages of the company, and they can test how to steam the needed milk. The cold beverages to make are black tea lemonade and double chocolate chip Frappuccino. I think I am lucky not to be called to make Tazo Chai, because last week I almost forgot to put hot water into the cup.

 

I passed the test and got the certified pin at the end—not that hard! They, I should use we, waste too much, EVERY DAY! To guarantee the quality of the food and beverages, and to deliver the legendary service, too much food especially milk being wasted too much. Anyway it is not today’s topic, but it is my concern on every shift.

 

我也不知道自己为什么喜欢工作， 而且对咖啡有那么大的兴趣。每次磨完咖啡豆后我总习惯性地享受手上残留的咖啡味道，这个味道一直可以保留到家！呵呵~~说道咖啡就说不完了！

"If you want to win friends, make it a point to remember them. If you remember my name, you pay me a subtile compliment; you indicate that I have made an impressio on you. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance."-- Dale Carnegie

今天是父亲节。

爸爸，我很想念你！

我的眼界突然一阵酸，从来没有过的！

我用师傅教导我的方法试着和爸爸沟通，却没有得到他的回答..............

 

爸爸，我很想念你！

爸爸， 妈妈我很想念你们！！！

 

昨天又是一个分离的日子。那天改完机票，我就在日历上注上一个大大的“FLY", 冬天去了， 春天来了， 爸爸在天上看着妈妈不得以又飞回战场处理那些烦人的屁事。

最近总爱哭，想哭就哭出来，别憋着，哭出来感觉会好些。 妈妈这样对我说， 我亦是这样安慰我的朋友，同样也是这样对自己说。人不能停留在回忆里， 更不能生活在痛苦中，我们都会在伤痛和泪水中走向成熟和坚强。快乐需要自己寻找，幸福更要主动去争取。

喜欢阅读CONNIE 姐的日志，阳光总是多过阴天，即使是阴天，最后也会转晴。"哭哭不哭"现在成了我挂在嘴边的词儿，“小满未满”路在前方。

人生起伏跌荡，平路走了一段得换坡道了，生命之车少了幸福和悲伤的车轮都跑不了。

人生～～～～～

最近祖国山河一片红，MSN全都是一颗颗红心上下跳动。有人在讨论是加在名字前还是中间，我都省事了，没加！

 

南京的天气真是疯了，这人间四月天的在飘花瓣雨，满天的梧桐花粉，加上空气中的粉尘，我也在考虑去买一个围巾将鼻子和嘴包起来。 DEADLY DIRTY!!!

南京的天气真是奇怪，冬天阴冷地裹着棉被都没用，开了春就开始花粉漫天，接着是阴雨绵绵的梅雨季节，潮湿的让我全身痒的难受，每年这个时候就是长江的汛期，呵呵防洪抗险就是这个时候，再来就是闷热的夏天－－SCROCHING SUMMER，连我的同事都知道南京著名的夏季天气。

 

我不能改变环境，但至少我还有权利选择！

 

四月清明长假，中国现在政策多，莫名的假期也多！ 而且让人感觉政府越来越“人性化”了！

3天在没有必要的情况下都是在家里渡过的，周六去了女朋友家探网她的母亲，顺便去逗逗她家的新人－多多。

多多没断奶钱就被定好人家了，我朋友出了4位数把它争取过来了。本来过门之前我朋友给它取了个叫“旺财”的名字，可能是准备做生意的缘故，图个吉利，可是后来改成了“多多”。我妈一个朋友的孙女儿就是这个名， 嘿嘿，现在人狗同名不在少数啊！

 

周日早上9点半收到女朋友的电话，让我下楼去，她和多多就在楼下。我发现在有了孩子活着养了宠物后人的责任心就是大有提高。要知道在此之前我的女朋友在中午前绝对实在床上渡过了。今天她已经从很远的家里去宠物医院帮多多注射过疫苗了，并且做过了晨练。下楼第一件事我就是将女朋友好好夸奖了一番，不过功劳还是有多多一份的。        

"我是麦小龙，你认识我吗？" 这是目前我见过的最夸张也是最自信的自我介绍。一个意外的机会这位叫麦小龙的男仔被老板“借到”13中临时授课，把这个名字放在BAIDU 上搜搜，出来一推结果。看来这个家伙还是小有名气的。我第一次听到这个名字，是在深圳人才交流会议上，老板和他说的好像非常开心。真正见到其人是在上课的当天。戴了一对耳环，嘿嘿，还好是正常地。说着京腔的普通话，当然纯正的加拿大英文教高一的孩子是绝对没有问题的。

我们不在一个办公室，接触只在走廊或是他来办公室找胡主任解决问题的时候打个招呼而已，但为什么我对他有一点点的偏见呢？我也不大说的出来，可能在我看来他非常的会表现自己，不是那种以我为中心的，但是他绝对不会让让别人感觉不到他的存在。他的出现让我想起了以前一个在美国长大的同事－－MICHAEL WANG。

小麦在学生中威信建立的很快，第一天2个女同学犯错，他是让胡主任帮助解决的，下课道歉是起码的；第二天下午从隔壁教室传来他的“怒吼”，把我和杨老师吓了一跳，然后他将一位破坏课堂纪律以及不尊重老师的男同学送了进来，最后是班主任出面他才接受了这个承认错误的孩子。学生对他是又害怕又喜欢，有时候4楼课堂的笑声在1楼的校园都听得见；学生也说他比“面包师”教得好。我可以想象出如果他听到如此表演的话，嘴巴要笑地咧开了。

今天是他在13中的最后一天，明天就要飞到贵阳去制作节目了。我对他的影响也就是在几个小时前增添了一些暖色，除了积极的自信外，还有不错的组织才能和小小的领导能力，这样的评价小麦一定觉得不够，呵呵，还有什么呢？。。。。。作为艺人的专业和认证吧！